worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize