That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
