K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
