Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
