He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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