i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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