im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I came so hard my ears popped.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
