Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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