David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize