Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
