His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
