i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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