this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
