My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
