Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
