I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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