Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize