all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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