dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
