I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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