careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
