i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
