WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
