As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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