make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize