I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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