whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
