my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
