Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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