meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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