Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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