It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My pussy is not your playground.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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