So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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