the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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