True but thats because hes a fetus.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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