i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize