Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
