I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
