I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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