I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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