ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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