I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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