people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
