After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
