3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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