it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
