do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
