I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
