she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Mom said you looked used
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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