yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
