Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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