i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
