I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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