I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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