But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
