I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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