We won't sleep together?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
