Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize