I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
