It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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