the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
