You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
