Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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